Looking for God in all the wrong places…..


I took a day to search for God, And found Him not; but as I trod, By rocky ledge, through woods untamed, Just where one scarlet lily flamed, I saw His footprint in the  sod.                       ~William Bliss Carman

I have been doing a lot of soul-searching lately.

No, that’s not accurate.

It’s not my soul I am searching.  It’s my mind. 

For most of  my life I have believed that the two had to remain separate.  God is in your heart, in your soul.  Do not question, have faith, believe.  You cannot know.  You can only trust. After all, faith is believing in that which you cannot see. 

But lately the need to know is too strong. 

There is so much I do not understand.  And I am simply not the type of person who can say to myself, “Now, honey, don’t you worry your pretty little head about that.”  Not even close.

I mean why would God tell me, “You are to have no other gods before me,” and then give us Christ as the sole way to Him?

Why does Jesus preach absolute freedom from the law then say we are going to hell if we don’t obey it?

Here is what I think.  I think Christ’s suggestion of total, absolute, undeniable, unrevokable grace scares the hell out people.  Literally.

If you believe the doctrine of grace then all bets are off.   Without the threat of hell, what’s to stop us from going wild? Losing ourselves and our souls in a world of earthly pleasures?  Besides that whole pesky “personal respsonsibily” thing, I mean.

Also, why is it we are to take the apostle’s word as Gospel – literally – and yet praying to them for intervention is idol worship?

The one that gets me, my towering monster of a road block to acceptance of the Christian status quo, is the idea that Ghandi is in hell.  Locks my brain up.  I cannot and will not accept that the Lord rejected this great man of God, his ministry of love, kindness and selflessness that so mirrors that of Jesus, because he did not claim Christ as his personal savior.

In the Old Testament we had to have an intermediary between God and us.  We were too low and dirty to commune directly with God.  Then Christ came, tore the veil, and opened the path directly to God.  Then He put up a velvet rope and positioned  Himself  in front of it as a kind of celestial bouncer at Club Heaven?

We were made pure in the eyes of God. The blood of Christ sanctified us all.  Kinda-sorta.  Really it works more like Harry Potter’s cape of invisibility.  God can no longer see our sins but they are still there, under the cloak of Jesus.  One misstep and that cape may fall from your shoulders, all of your sins glowing scarlet before a shocked and angry God?

This simply does not make sense to me.  I cannot link a loving God who knows every blade of grass and sparrow’s feather to the same God who will toss you into a lake of fire to burn in unending agony for picking the wrong door playing  Let’s Make An Eternity.

How many holy books are there out there?  The Torah, the Koran, The Bible, the Bhagavad Gita, the Tao-te-ching, the Samhita, the Book of Mormon.  Those who believe in them believe that they are the divine word of God.  Are they all wrong?

Or all they all right?

God has come to man in many forms.  In the Bible God appears as Christ, as a Dove, as a talking mule. He is a pillar of fire, a cloud on a mountain, a burning bush.

He wrestled with Jacob, (and cheated – little hip displacement and poof – fight’s over), led Moses out of the wilderness (only to deny him the Holy Land), and gave us freedom through Christ (with a catch).

He doesn’t make sense.  At all. 

And that may just be my answer right there.

Who am I to try to pigeon-hole God?  He has a history of revealing things on a need-to-know basis.  Likely because if we saw it all our head would explode and really, who needs that?

So here are my Articles of Faith:

I believe in God.  I believe He is real and holy and He loves me.

I believe Christ is real. That He walked the earth, preaching love, forgiveness and spiritual freedom.

I believe the earthly realm is filled with spirits of all kinds, angels and demons. 

I believe that Creation and Evolution are not mutually exclusive.

I believe there is much I do not know. Yet.

I believe God comes to us however we need Him to.  I don’t believe one religion is right and all the others are wrong.

I believe in Nats.

I believe that organized religion is a crapshoot and I am tired of playing the odds. 

I will search for God.  In a church, a temple, an Ashram.  He is there.  And I will find Him.

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~ by D.L. Graves on January 10, 2010.

3 Responses to “Looking for God in all the wrong places…..”

  1. You are amazing. It’s as if you were in my head. Peace, my friend.

  2. Wow, I see you are grabbing a hold of the infinite God and realizing he is too infinite for our small finite minds. Just remember Job where God asked “Who are you to question me”. Paraphrased a little. I am so glad you are so very close to the living God. Even the desire to understand is a gift from him.

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