The Cheapness of Love

“The moment we choose to love we begin to move against domination, against oppression. The moment we choose to love we begin to move towards freedom, to act in ways that liberate ourselves and others. That action is the testimony of love as the practice of freedom. ”  ~ Bell Hooks

Love is not a noun.  It’s not that easy.  At least not love that matters.  Love that gives and shares and takes and fights and does.  That is love.  Love that only speaks is cheap indeed.  How easy it is to speak the words and feel that is your whole debt, paid and square. I had a friend once, a long time ago, a best friend back when I didn’t ask much of my friends.  I was there for her in her ups and downs, held her while she cried and laughed with her joys.  I helped her clean her house for company, feed her pets when she was away, took her two a.m. oh-my-god-my-world-is-crashing calls.  Little by little it dawned that I always went to her house so I invited her to mine.  She never made it.  Just as she wasn’t there during my divorce, my graduation, the marriage of my son or the birth of my first grandchild.  She didn’t help me move or call me when I was first published in the paper.  I know her parents, kids, in-laws, friends, coworkers.  She knows none of mine. I realized then that I was a big part of her life and she was not in any way a part of mine.

Cheap love.

Of course this is but one type of cheap love.  How many of us, myself especially, rant and rave about the state of the world; cholera in Haiti, despotism in Libya, gang wars in Mexico, racism in the south, obesity in Mississippi, crime in Jackson and the neighbor kid who is always dirty and playing alone and then do … nothing?

Cheap love.

I’m not saying give up all your worldly possession and move off to live with the San people, (who actually are currently with home so that is mute but I digress), I’m just saying make an effort. If your mom calls while you’re watching Idol, mute the TV and answer the phone.  Put down the book and go join a friend for coffee.  Let someone in ahead of you in traffic.   Smile at the waitress who screwed up your order for the fourth time and be grateful you have food so handy.  Do a mitzvah.  Every day.  There is an old African adage that says, “Each drop helps to fill the bucket.” Be the drop instead of the bucket.

http://cinderitaadventures.blogspot.com/2011/03/love-is-action-word.html

http://strengths.gallup.com/114082/Theory-Dipper-Bucket.aspx

http://kindnessgirl.com/guerrilla-goodness/

~ by D.L. Graves on May 27, 2011.